dontreadon. dontreadon. dontreadon.

no work till next weekend.
not sure what im gonna be doing during this 5 day break.

i need to sit down... and start to think where my life is now.
or rather, what am i doing to it.

mom is getting quite pissed about my sudden increase in late nights.
especially wednesday nights. and weekends.
is it a yearly yearend thing for me to have late nights and etc etc? or am i just allowing myself to do it? shit. im not making sense.

im in this whole iwanttoparty iwanttohavefun ilovelatenights nicotinecomefillme funfunfunfunfunfunfunfun clubbingclubbinglatenights thing. and im not doing anything about it.

the bottomline of this is, daphne never changes. daphne will never change. she never did.
daphne never learns.

it is very very very upsetting to know that someone read your email, and yet he doesnt reply it. now i sound like some love sick girl who sent an email to her crush and he doesnt reply. but fuck no it isnt some guy. i feel like.. im trying to hard to know him. yet, i cant handle knowing the truth. i never could.. doubt i will. anyway. yah i feel like im trying to open a book with a lock. and the lock is not with me. and i will never in near future have the key. but then again, if i have the key with me.. will i be able to handle the contents of the book? i think i cant even get past the introduction. im so fucking contradicting i want to kill myself. but then again, i will never have the guts to kill myself.

j-o-y. come come come come come.

tantantantantantantantantan. tweeeese.

i want to have a fun 18th. okay.. fun is the wrong word. i want a joyful 18th.
i hope that after i turn 18, the urge to underagesmokeunderageclub will go away. since i always want things that i cant get. and when i get them, i dont want them.
somehow the cheap thrill is there. fuck. almost 18 already leh daphne. still talking about cheapthrills. when will you ever grow up???? you are accountable for your own actions you know.

today, an 18 yearold chinese blond hair girly guy came into m1. he was looking for any phone that enables him to record his own voice, and use it as a ringing tone. and his pants was super tight. and my friend noticed that he had a hard on..... whatthefuck? i think prolly too many guys in the shop. and yesterday, there was this hairy indian man who had a very very very hairy buttcrack. it was sooooo.... egh. and they call me the ang-moh speaking girl at work. everyone else speaks to everyone else in mandarin. but to me, they make an effort and they speak in english. but im trying. im trying to communicate in mandarin. soon enough... hear me speak mandarin. im sure i will be goooood.

my knees are dying on me.
im old already. 18.
//////////////////
thats eighteen for you.

this year.. on my birthday cake.. i want 18 candles. no not one big one and eight small ones. i want eighteen big ones. i will take note of this and inform my sister. haha. i miss my sweetsecrets cake. last year at my family's (moms extended side) annual bbq, i had a cake from bakers inn. i can have all the cakes in the world but none can ever match my sweetsecrets.

i havent had a haircut in six months. my hair resembles a bush now. bushhh.
i spent the first 5 months this year having funny haircuts and funny hair colors. and for the rest of the year, i had horrible limpy plain colored hair. how upsetting. how depressing.

i need a new phone.
no i dont need a new phone.
i want a new phone.
i want i want i want.
everything you also want.